life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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