She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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