I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
