he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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