I will die if light touches me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
