do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
