I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
