i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A bitchslap is in order.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
