She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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