She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
