I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize