So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize