i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize