Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
