I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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