Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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