just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
