Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
