Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
