id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
