I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
