i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
