This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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