just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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