Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize