So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
