he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
