one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
