I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
