Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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