I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
