why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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