I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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