Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
