So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
