Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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