garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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