Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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