i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
