The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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