i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
