we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
