I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
