we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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