Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I faked an abortion last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
