it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
