Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
