he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
