just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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