just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
