That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
