Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
