I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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