I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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