Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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