Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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