This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i think i just lost a toe
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
