so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
