You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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