My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
