Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
