Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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