I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
