Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
