I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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