Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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