I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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