She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
