ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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