did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
