final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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