Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
