Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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