i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
