I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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